GSR Minutes, Sept 10, 2011

CALIFORNIA AREA DISTRICT 1
Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday September 10, 2011

Thanks to all that attended our recent GSR meeting! All members of CMA are welcome.

We had a great meeting, and I am grateful to you all.
Being of service, Tim

* All committees are in need of volunteers:
This was one of our main topics, and if order for us to continue our growth and reach the addict that is still suffering, we need to grow our committees.  It  doesn’t require tons of time, it can be as much time as they want, it does not require they come to our meeting every month,  they just need to speak with there GSR for information or go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee they are interested in being a part of or join us at the next district meeting. Service is an essential part of recovery, one addict helping another, one day at a time.

* Register your meetings:
If you currently hold a service position at a meeting such as secretary or GSR; please register your meeting at cmainla.com. There is a link on the front page of our website.

* Events:
September 18th H&I Appreciation Pot Luck at Hollywood and Highland 3-5pm – all are welcome – this is going to be a great event – we need to really get the word out.

* VERY IMPORTANT
FRIDAY NIGHT 8PM MEETING AT COVENANT HOUSE HAS MOVED TO THE VILLAGE -SAME TIME – THE ADDRESS IS: 1125 N. McCADDEN PLACE, LOS ANGELES 90038
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Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. Nwcomer packets ($1.00 each) are in stock and include the new pamphlets “The Sober Tool Kit” and “What About God.” The book Crystal Clear: Stories of Hope will be   available at next months meeting. The 2011 little burgundy big book is available for $2.00 apiece featuring the first 164 pages of the AA big book. There are ten approved pamphlet currently no charge limit 5 apiece. Directories (15 cents ea.) If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s.  If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The pamphlet and meeting directories are also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, the address is cmainla.blogspot.com and you can write to Mark at editor@cmainla.com

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The Summer 2011 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up or place an order with Gregorio and he will have them ready for you at the monthly district meeting. The cost is 15 cents per copy. You can also go to cmainla.com to download it.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday October 8, 2011 At 10am Plummer Park, West Hollywood 90046

Potluck Appreciation

H&I Appreciation Potluck Sunday, September 18 · 3:00pm - 5:00pm Hollywood United Methodist Church 6817 Franklin Ave (Corner of Franklin & Highland) Hollywood, CA The potluck appreciation dinner allows us to show our appreciation for all those who have participated on panels over the last year as well as build excitement for those potential panel leaders and speakers interested in doing service. People will bring food dishes and we will have three 15 minute speakers. Please tell all your friends in the fellowship that if they want to be of service, this is a fantastic and fun way to lea...rn about H&I and carrying the message of CMA. If you have sponsees, encourage them to come and be a part of this wonderful event. If you have been around awhile, come and hear some refreshing stories of service. Speakers will share their amazing experience with Hospitals & Institutions! Bring your favorite dish or... (Last name starting with...) A-I Bring something SWEET J-S Bring something SALTY T-Z Bring Beverages There will be a 50/50 raffle! Plenty of free parking! Directions: DRIVING: Exit Highland off the US 101, head South, turn right on Franklin. METRO: Red Line, Hollywood and Highland Metro Station.

REPOST - What do about being nervous to go to a Pool Party

What to Do About SPPIS
The symptoms of SPPIS (Sober Pool Party Inadequacy Syndrome) are easily visible. Someone sits apart from the crowd, often with his shirt on in the hot sun, with an anxious look on his face. He is busy listening to an endless negative loop in his head. His perception is that “all these gorgeous men” are having a wonderful time, and secretly sneering at his extra (or missing) 5 or 10 or more pounds. Even though it’s a benefit, he imagines they’re wondering what he’s doing at their party. He thinks he’s the only one going through this, the only one who feels lonely and miserable. He selectively remembers those times, probably early in his using days, when he would have a “good time” at parties. He wonders if he’ll ever have “good time” again.

If this describes your experience, I’m here to tell you are perfectly normal. In fact, I’ve never known someone in early sobriety for whom this is not the experience at most sober gatherings, much less those that advertise your gym attendance or lack thereof. These are exactly the kinds of uncomfortable feelings we ALL medicated over when in our addiction. Notice how 95% of the attendees at a circuit party are on something? Even the beauty-blessed musclegods are battling an inner monologue of self-doubt and insecurity. That’s why they usually end up getting so high that all they can do most of the night is huddle on the dance floor with the friends they came with.

Men are eroticized by visual stimuli. Gay men, straight men, all men. It’s why you’ll see the Bob Newharts with the Suzanne Pleshettes of the world, but never the reverse. It’s why men watch porn but women rarely do. As gay men, these male tendencies are squared. The result is that we tend to confuse desirability with happiness. We imagine if we “looked like that” we would be in a state of constant bliss. And yet some of the most insecure men I’ve ever met are considered some of the hottest porn stars. Some of them were even at the very pool party you were so unhappy at, and I guarantee you they were intimately familiar with exactly the same feelings you were battling.

So you have a few choices: 1) you can use again, feel very temporary relief, and then go right back to that despairing place you were before you got sober in the first place; 2) stay sober and avoid all social events in which you might feel intimidated; or 3) keep showing up, and be willing to do things differently.

But how? Try this. Before you get out of the car, ask yourself some questions. What if I set aside my fear? What if I decided my low-self esteem was a character defect, and something I could let go of? What if I replaced obsessing about my misery with a decision to talk to someone who was sitting alone, someone who might be even more scared, lonely or self-conscious than I am? What if I imitated the other guys who are taking pictures, serving burgers, or squirting water? What if I decided to pretend to have a good time, just to see if I actually did?

I promise you, if you do all of these things, you will NOT be magically free of your insecurities. You will still probably unfavorably compare yourself to the men you find terribly attractive. But the volume WILL go down enough on that negative self-chatter that you might actually enjoy yourself. This may mean defining that experience differently than how you imagine it now. Dancing, flirting, or getting validation may be small part of it, or no part of it at all. “A good time” may be just about giggling with a friend, cleaning off the picnic table or just talking to someone who needs to talk. (I have rarely introduced myself to anyone at one of these pool parties and gotten anything but a big smile, usually accompanied by an expression of tremendous relief that someone is talking to him.)

It’s absolutely amazing what happens when you are willing to entertain the notion that your feelings may not be the most important thing in the world. In fact, when you put love and service first, you will find that your feelings have the magical way of taking care of themselves.

M.O.